Me and my husband, married for 3.5 years, second marriage for both of us, he has 2 kids, I have 2 kids, none in between, none live w/us, I am 4 years older than him, both work 8 hrs. a day, a lot of times I work 9.5. I come home at least 2 hours later than him, also go to work 1.5 hours later than him. When I come home I start cleaning (again) every mess he maid since he came home, it doesn't matter if I cleaned before I went to work in the morning, cleaning I mean dishes and everything else in the kitchen, his shoes in the middle of everywhere. cat litter, clothes, bathroom, etc. what he did before I got home? well, be in the computer, checking his email for replies to his videos in myspace and youtube looking for music,funny videos, reptiles or lately exercising ( but that is for 30 min.) or playing with his iguana or snakes (2). I have to say , sometimes he mows the yard,(every 2 or 3 weeks if I'm lucky). The thing is he's always involved on something that has to do with him only.
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? lol wow ur husband sounds like my bf he has snakes an iguanes too but i have to clean his room cuz hes jus so damn lazyy but obviously not the same situation but it jus seems like u guys are fat apart u need to do something that invloves both of you why dont you try gettin a movie an watching it with him try gettin closer to him
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? Nope....I am a stay at home mom and I don't mind keep the house up...but I know for damn sure that if I worked the same amount of hours that my husband did...we would be splitting the chores.....no questions!
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? well let's be honest..you are complaining to strangers about what your husband has been doing..and I would venture to say that he has heard it SEVERAL TIMES as well..
I think that it has TURNED him off to you and he has NO desire to be with a woman who not only nags at him..but also throws the dirty laundry of a marriage to a bunch of strangers...
i know that would turn me off...quick as well!
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? I don't know if you realized it, but you spelled the word "made" as "maid". You are not his maid or his mother. You are in a relationship where you "share" responsibilities. You are letting him get off easy by not asking him to help you out. If he really cares about you talk to him and ask him for help. Relationships are a lot of work and sometimes that work is around the house.
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? You have ot talk to him, not us. He probably thinks that everything is ok and that you are very happy. This is the beginning of a big problem that can end in divorce. Don閳ユ獩 let it grow, don閳ユ獩 let it happen again.
Communication is the key to a good relation. Talk to him, don閳ユ獩 get mad, just be honest and let him know about your problems, your frustration, and your expectations from the relation and him too. Again, don閳ユ獩 be mad, stay calm and let him know you are not there to point fingers at him, but to let him see that there are things that are happening that are no making you happy.
Try to come up with solutions together and also ask him to be honest and to tell you if he has any problem, including with you. He might not like something about you or what you do but is also keeping it quiet and you would be surprised of how much that can affect each of you.
Don閳ユ獩 expect to change him, same as you should not change. You both just need to focus more into each other, reunite and start making some sacrifices for each other. And please mention good things about him too, not just bad, otherwise it will look like a court of law.
Good luck.
PS. Look into his eyes when talking, let him see in you how you feel.
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? I am should he has been this way before you enter into a marriage with him....A man will do what ever a woman lets him do.....
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? Man, been there done that. As hard as it may be, just stop doing the cleaning for him. He is a big boy and you are his wife, not his mother. Eventually (and it may be awhile) he'll wonder why he has no clean clothes to wear or dishes to eat off of. Ge your our hobby to do as well, see just how much he likes it!
Who else is in the same situation? marriage... is it really? I was in the same situation for many years and coming from an Italian back round I went along with it thinking that was the way it should be.
I would let it be known that you want a husband not a son and in retrospect i would expect even a son to pull his weight if he wanted to be part of the family, fix it now or run the opposite direction, it may be to late already.
You have not been married for very long and if there is still love there all he needs is to be reminded that you are his wife not his maid
Take him out to dinner and while you are looking your best and at your most loving self let him know how unhappy you are, tell him that you would like to be making love than cleaning messes, and coming home to a nice clean house and a nice glass of wine you can think of a lot of lovely things you can do together
Try to avoid accusations,we are allowed to say what is upsetting or hurting our feelings but dumping garbage will only irritate him and and push his guilty button and he will not be in a receptive mood to what you are trying to accomplice. hope this helps good luck
